My heart has been churning over what has seemed like loss: the possibility that I might never be married or have my own children. It's easy to feel the twinge of pain when all of your friends are pairing up and having kids and you're still the single one.
God doesn't let my heart churn for long.
He steps in. He draws near to my heart and gives me everything I need to be encouraged. Through encouragement of friends who have yet to pair up, through Scripture, and the theological basis for our ultimate fulfillment found in Jesus - not in marriage or children.
To be fair, God designed marriage and it is good. The world would not be what it is if it weren't for husbands and wives having and raising children.
But here's the thing... marriage and children are not our main source of worth and they are not the only way God can fulfill His glorious purposes on this side of eternity.
I'm so encouraged by stories of single missionary women in history who were incredibly impactful for God's Kingdom because they had the remarkable ability to be single-mindedly focused on doing God's will and trusting Him with every inch of their heart, mind, and soul. And all while remaining joyful.
Singleness can be hard. I experience moments of immense sadness and loneliness. But then Jesus in His endless mercy picks me up and encourages me and loves me. He has always, does, and will always love me far, far better than any human could. Even if I was blessed with the most handsome, loving, God-fearing, adventurous, kind, and funny husband, he would still fall short of my soul's deepest needs. Putting all of our hope into a husband and children to fulfill our souls' deepest needs is a heavy burden to lay on them and one they are not meant to carry.
Jesus is our ultimate source of hope and fulfillment. He wants us to know this and remember it daily. And He will never leave us nor forsake us. His goodness and mercy will follow us.
It is common in the church to label singles as 'unmarried'. As if they are not complete until they get married. That is a shame and disservice to not only those singles but to Jesus himself. Jesus lived a sinless life and was never married. Yet He fulfilled the most powerful work of God's plan for salvation for each and every one of us - by dying a brutal death on the cross. He is the reason we have hope. He is our hope.
And He is the reason that single Christian men and women can and should live with the powerful reassurance that they can move forth and serve God and others just as powerfully as married couples can, if not more.
I just finished reading a wonderful book by Christina Hitchcock called The Significance of Singleness that has been a balm for my weary heart. I could quote much from her book here but I'll narrow it down to this:
While marriage acts as a beautiful picture of the union between Christ and his church, it has the tendency to direct our eyes to the things of this age and to give those things priority and a greater sense of reality than the new things of the age to come. Single Christians are important to the church not simply because they have extra time and energy but, much more significantly, because they stand as a reminder and picture, both to the church and to the world, of these three things: the priority of the church, the reality of the resurrection, and the proper place for our hope and trust.
The proper place for our hope and trust is in Jesus. The proper place is not in marriage and children.
And He assures me in His Word, one place prominently being in the book of Isaiah:
For this is what the Lord says:
To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant - to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will endure forever. - Isaiah 56:4-5
There is a place in God's divine plan for those who are single. We Christian singles are not less than Christian married couples. We are already whole in Christ and that is a fact bar none. What a relief and joy!
God is so good and faithful. He knows what is best for you and what is best for me. When we allow the Holy Spirit to melt our hearts in surrender to God's will being done and not ours, we can experience the trust that makes our heavenly Dad smile so big. To have trust in someone is beautiful and comforting. To have trust in the creator of the universe and deliverer of our souls... that is beautiful beyond words.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you. -Psalm 84:11-12
Jesus has done the most remarkable thing in history - He died for each and every one of us to cleanse us from our sin and imperfections and to welcome us into glorious eternal life with Him and our good, heavenly Father. He deserves our deep, abiding trust in Him. Let it be so Father. Build in us, by the power of your Holy Spirit, the kind of trust that is fit for our Savior, Protector, Provider, and Friend. 100% pure trust with our whole minds, bodies, and souls.
By Gods' amazing grace, I feel such a lovely comfort and relief in knowing that if Gods' plan is for me to not be married or have biological children, then He has other glorious plans that are His best for me and more so for His kingdom to come on earth as it is heaven. I trust that my heavenly Father has an overwhelmingly beautiful plan for my life. What a blessing and honor it is to walk in salvation because of Jesus' death on the cross, alongside a beautiful family of brothers and sisters in Jesus, and to walk in His resurrection life as He prepares a glorious, eternal place for His bride - the church.
So it's safe to say I WILL get married one day. Alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ, we will join, with tremendous joy, Jesus and our Heavenly Father in the eternal life that is beyond all earthly pleasures and our wildest imaginations.
He is Risen, Hallelujah and Amen!
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